This topic might sound very strange. What do pregnancy and the need to control the situation have in common? Before I got pregnant I never thought that I was an absolute control freak. But only when I lost the control of my life and my own body, I began to understand how difficult it was for me to trust that some things could just happen without my conscious efforts. Being pregnant just happens. I do not have to do anything specific. I have just to trust my body. It knows how to grow a baby. But for me trusting nature and my body is a challenge. I am trying to believe in natural processes, but I cannot get rid of the feeling that being pregnant is a difficult job and that somehow I have to be "seriously" pregnant.
It might sound very strange. It is very difficult for me to explain what is happening with me. But I am trying to find the right words to express feelings and struggles I am going through. I feel that for the first time in my life I absolutely lost the control of my body. It is changing. My belly is getting bigger. And the only thing I can do in this situation is looking at myself in the mirror and waiting for the baby to be born.
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