Generalized anxiety disorder

During my pregnancy I received a new diagnosis from my psychiatrist. Apart from having a depression episode (I am bipolar), I also have a generalized anxiety disorder. The later is new to me. I hope it is not for life. I hope my anxiety is just a part of my high sensitivity during pregnancy. It is so tiresome to feel anxious all the time. I cannot stop thinking scary thoughts. I worry about everything. I think about giving birth, about the health of my baby, about how difficult is to be pregnant, about words someone said to me that were not nice, about money, about being a good mother etc. But the most scaring thoughts are about my mental health after I will give birth. I am so afraid of falling into severe depression again! What if I will not be able take care of my baby? What if giving birth will be so mentally traumatic to me that I will not recover? What if I will not love my baby?

Those thoughts are so tiring! I just dream of feeling calm. I just crave for spiritual peace of mind. What if it will never come? What if I am condemned to feel anxious for the rest of my life?

If you can at least vaguely understand my confusion and my hard feelings, you probably can understand why sometimes I want the pregnancy to disappear. I just desperately want to feel myself again. I just want to relax. I am so tired...